I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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