Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
