I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
