Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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