I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
