her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
