i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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