I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
