i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
