I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
