id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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