Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
