She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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