the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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