we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
