do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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