I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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