There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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