Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
