I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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