If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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