i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
