So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
