a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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