they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He felt like a one man threesome
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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