Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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