So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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