Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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