i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize