i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize