I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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