A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
