you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
