Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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