I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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