my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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