he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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