Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
