Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
