So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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