i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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