Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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