I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
