Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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