mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
