kristin has been a bad kristin
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
