you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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