I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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