I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
