if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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