Say something about gay babies.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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