We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
