what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
