you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
