Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
