i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
