there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
