i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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