hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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