I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
